Alcohol Hair Testing – The Roadblock Revolution

Author: Christian Farmer

Keywords: alcohol hair testing, urine alcohol testing, hair alcohol test

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Alcohol hair testing is a revolutionary new way to tell the amount of alcohol a person has consumed. It allows police to do a better, more efficient job, than the previous method of choice: urine alcohol testing..

Imagine you’re a policeman, sitting at a road block. You’re bored out of your mind. There’s not much to do at a roadblock but sit around and wait for people to come past. Of course it depends on the type of roadblock. It could be one of those roadblocks setup to urine alcohol testing, or it could be one of those more exciting roadblocks, you know, one of those roadblocks set to capture a fugitive from the law, and help them out.

It’s a known fact that most fugitives are very nice, friendly people, who accidentally did something wrong, something like going through the grocery store at four in the morning, trying to find banana bread with anchovies in it for their pregnant wife. They’re strolling around the produce section, and they casually grab an apple, in their sleepy state they just take a bite of it, “Oh my gosh! That’s disgustingly crisp and juicy!” they cry, and set it back down, and leave it there. Next thing they know, the produce police ask to talk to them, and they panic, and run for the exit, jump in their car and speed away. And so the police setup a roadblock, trying to help the poor fugitive out, and help the fugitive get that anchovy banana bread back to their wife. However, this isn’t that kind of roadblock. It’s just your one of your typical, run of the mill, urine alcohol testing roadblocks.

Urine alcohol testing is one of the more tedious parts of a cop’s job. Think about it, here you are, this huge powerful cop, with the ability to arrest people for spitting on the sidewalk, and you’re reduced to being a urine sampler. And it’s boring all around. You make someone pee in a cup, they come back, you go test it, and you may or may not arrest them. Even the people taking the little test think to themselves, “Oh gee, the cup again. How quaint.”

You may not need to do this degrading test any longer. Now there are other options besides urine alcohol testing. Yes, thanks to advances in medical genome technology, we now have the option of performing a hair alcohol test.

Multiple hair product companies found that one of the biggest obstacles to treating hair was the residual alcohol left over in hair after a lovely night of some sweet partying. This is a bigger obstacle to hair care than dandruff, hair dying, or even baldness. Alcohol levels aren’t constant, but rather vary from day to day depending on how much alcohol you’ve drunk the night before making them more difficult to counter. Then one day, the CEO of a major hair product company had dinner with the chief of police from Cuba, Missouri. (Yes, there is a Cuba, Missouri., and yes, the chief of police from there is very well known in the upper echelons of hair product CEOs) Soon the Cuba, Missouri Police Chief talked about the woes of urine alcohol testing, the CEO talked about the woes of alcohol content in hair, and they came up with the beautiful idea of alcohol hair testing.

They did some research, and what they found is that the body uses hair as a natural method for alcohol expulsion. It’s related to the way that cooling elements work on computer processors, in that it provides more surface area for interaction with the air, allowing the alcohol to evaporate readily and disperse into the surrounding environment. Using this knowledge, and multiple tests performed to determine the normal level of alcohol hair content, police are now starting to do away with urine alcohol testing in favor of the hair alcohol test.c

And police everywhere are rejoicing because of the simplicity of “One strand of your hair please” when compared to “Please urinate in this cup for the purpose of urine alcohol testing”. And it’s about time too, I was sick of peeing in that little cup.

About the author:
Christian Farmer is a writer for Innuity. In his spare time he compares various topics such as heights of buildings, and the weight of Andre the Giant to the weighs of average sized people. For more information on the hair alcohol test, alcohol hair testing, or urine alcohol testing, please visit http://www.trimegalabs.co.uk.